Marriages involving abuse and neglect might not be worth saving: it all depends on the situation and the couple.
Most marriages, however, can be saved if each party is willing to consider the following ideas. There are lots more, but start with these suggestions if your marriage seems to be in trouble.
Communication is a Two-way Street
A lot of men think they are communicating what they think and feel. Many women think they are great listeners. Both of them are potentially a little right and a little wrong.
Listening is part of communicating, but to hear properly you first have to understand another person’s language. How does he tell you he loves you? It might not be in the way you expect or want him too.
Try to picture yourself in a man’s shoes and reconsider what he does or does not do. Can you see patterns forming that you missed; patterns that tell you he loves you?
Listening is often a man’s downfall. Women frequently complain that their husbands seem to hear the first part of a sentence, or twist their meaning and get it all wrong. Men do need to pay closer attention, not to what they think their wives mean but to what they are really saying.
The result will be a compromise, which is what spending a life together is about. No marriage is going to be perfect, but with a giving attitude and mutual respect, two people find middle ground that works for them.
Does it feel like you are always arguing with your spouse? It could be true: you find every little thing he or she does annoying.
That is the problem: your battles are about little things. Think about it: could you let some grievances go? Are you fighting over small things because you are frustrated about a larger problem you cannot seem to solve?
Give it some thought. Maybe this bigger issue is what requires your attention. Saving a marriage could require the help of a couples’ counselor.
Saving a Marriage Early
A wife will often wonder what she and her husband will talk about or do together when the children leave home. This is a legitimate fear. What foundation are you laying down for that later relationship today?
Saving a marriage starts now. Eke out a bit of time even if it means the kids go to bed with a book one night a week and read silently while you have “mommy and daddy time.” Play a board game together. Snuggle. Play a video game or cook together.
Find shared enjoyment without going out. Later, leave the kids for short dates or ask a relative to take them for a night so you can have richer quality time together and remember why you fell in love.
Special moments, to be special, have to be infrequent and they can be simple. Occasionally, drop a love letter into your spouse’s coat pocket or somewhere he or she is sure to find it.
Show your loved one that you are trying in spite of your marital struggles!