If you are single and dating, you can probably relate to what I am about to say. If you are married, then this information will help you reinforce your outlook on monogamy. If you had an affair, or thinking about having one, you better read this.
I have been single for a couple of years, and within that time I have come to realize how important and necessary relationships are.
Relationships are the foundation to understanding yourself, friends, family, acquaintances, and partners. I would even go as far as to say if we knew how to communicate within relationships, there probably wouldn’t be a need for war.
However, I know that’s not going to happen soon. But at least we can improve to some degree and make life better for ourselves.
Dating and being single made me realize something; I realized that the fantasy of attracting someone who is physically appealing is not as important to me anymore. Some people usually get a divorce for the wrong reasons.
They think someone younger, or better looking than their spouse will make them happy. They think it’s easy to find another replacement, but guess what? No it isn’t! I won’t go into all the reasons why it isn’t, because there are too many reasons to list and that would require a lengthy article.
I personally admire a beautiful body just like the next guy, but in reality, the connective chemistry takes precedence over appearance. Beautiful people are easy to come by, finding someone you connect with is uncommon and invaluable.
Knowing what I know and listening to countless single people talk about how much they want to be in a relationship, lead me to appreciate how important a connective relationship is.
I believe when a person can appreciate, and understand the true value of a love relationship, monogamy is assured.
Because I know through understanding and awareness the alternative is nonsensical and foolish, and years of wasted time searching for a fantasy that is a futile attempt.
I would have never learned what I know if it wasn’t for my divorce. Please don’t go out and get a divorce because you may think it will improve your life. I’m sure there are easier ways to learn than to go through a painful experience.
Work on what you have, if it’s feasible. Know for a fact that having an affair is not a good choice. Ninety nine percent of the time it will end in disaster, trust me on this.
This may sound like I had an affair, I didn’t, I was monogamous for eighteen years. I know having an affair is not a wise thing to do. Through my research in talking with people that did have an affair, none of it turned out positive.
In rare instances, I have read that having an affair did improve the relationship. It’s because the person that had the affair realized it was a mistake, and for whatever reason knew the value of what a relationship has to offer.
Exceptions for staying in a relationship would be abuse, and sometimes people just grow apart for unknown reasons. Read my article on abuse, abuse should not be tolerated.
Now when I see a beautiful woman, I may enjoy the beauty for a second, but I know that being in a relationship with that person would depend on a deep connection. Deep connections are not physical, and they don’t happen with everyone.
Sometimes we don’t appreciate something, or someone, until they’re gone. Sometimes we don’t understand something until we experience it; and sometimes that’s the only way to learn.
Never feel guilty for your mistakes; if you knew better, you would have done better. Learn from your mistakes, and keep moving forward. Remember this: a mistake is only a mistake when it is repeated.